Another December 10th came yesterday and passed. 13 years later, I still felt the twinge in my chest area that I felt when I heard that word in connection with my son. People say, “It’s been 13 years since Tonbara passed from this life. It’s time to get over it and move on.”
We are moving on alright but with Tonbara in our memories. We still refer to something he said or some type of way he acted. He still generates laughter in our hearts and in our home. And that’s ok! Only when I close my eyes in death would I stop remembering Tonbara. Right now, it is not mystical to think of him. He is still in our story. You cannot write the Komonibo story without mentioning Tonbara. He is larger than life. Than death!
God is the God of both the living and the dead. So, as children of God, as spirit beings in earthly bodies, we have more in common with those who died in the Lord. Why should we try so hard to forget them? The Komonibo family is not trying to forget Tonbara. No way! The Lord has healed us but we savor the memory of our beloved son, brother and friend. Sometimes I allow myself the luxury of wondering what and how he would have been as a 28 year old man. And that’s ok too. It is my prerogative as his mother.
Here is the passage the Lord gave us yesterday: Zechariah 12:10 ” And I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and supplication … as one grieves for a firstborn son.” Need I say more? Praise the Lord.